So, I still consider myself a gamer. But as time passes and crappy motion sensing controllers are revealed, I find myself slowly floating away from the medium, much like the balloon that the 6 year accidentally let go at the state fair, which is just hilarious. As a firm believer of “Things happen for a reason”, Something had to happen to get me into this situation. So, let’s play a round of The Blame Game and figure this thing out.
Right around the current generation of consoles, the addition of imaginary numbers to mundane actions in video games somehow became a giant movement that drives people to acts of self torture and pain infliction. Ranging from the plain and basic(Pressing the start button) to the painfully difficult and masochistic(Proving that Elvis and Tupac are alive), This has become a driving force among players. Unfortunately, These fake numbers have lead to cases of egotism amongst the fanboys, acting as if numeric value prove anything. The greater effect, however, was its affect over what games I would play. I would play games through, ignoring all story and gameplay elements that could create emotional connections, in order for a little audio/visual stimulus. It’s like playing the carnival game where you squirt the clown in the mouth, but instead of taking the copyright-violating toys, you just like to hear the balloon pop.
This is the monster that evolved from the cute little rat.(Know why Pokemon was fun? No multiplayer.) Originally done with friends/family in the same room, this virus has spread all over the world with symptoms including racism, homophobia, and better-than-you-itis. Stemming from the anonymous nature, you can basically get away with any kind of Mel Gibson-esque rant with no repercussion. But when you play with family or friends and if they beat you, you give them a buy and you still have fun. When you go online and lose against some 15 year old D-nozzle(Terrible rap name), you take a little offense to it and never want to play that game again.
It may be me, but doesn’t it seem like all games have some sort of attitude attached to the genre? Like whenever you play any FPS, you have to be an adrenaline fueled stunt monkey, sufficing on a diet of Monster energy drink and Bungie cords (Strong enough to hold a Halo!). And when you play some artsy indie platformer, you have to drink Starbucks and be pretentious to everyone around you. Did Super Mario Bros. ever cast a shadow of judgment over you for playing it? Hell no, you went on an adventure and had fun.
4. Same Old Song and Dance
At some point in time, I have played every type of game. And really, nothing has fundamentally changed from the beginning. So, it’s really just wearing down on my fun levels. Nowadays, I play a racing game, I go, “Hey, I’m driving. Like I do every day. Whoopee.” I’m almost getting very little enjoyment from games recently. No quite sure why.
5. Getting Old and Mature
Nahhh, that’s not it.
Ehh, trying to solve this mystery would take either a bunch of teenage super sleuths with a talking dog, or a bunch of teenage super sleuths with a talking shark. I’m not quite sure what I could use to cure me. Maybe I’ll go play games for a little while. Peace out, Y’all!